just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
my sisters under your porch take her home
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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