Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
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