I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
