alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize