i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It's blow job season.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
