Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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