OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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