I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
