i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
smell my finger.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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