Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
