you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
