I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
