He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
