He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
40s are totally the cure
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize