I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
