I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
