I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
