I'm drive I can fine osifer
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
