I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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