y did u give ur computer a hand job?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
