who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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