weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you would pick up someone in the library
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
