Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize