so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
