i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
