Dual....:-)
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
