yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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