3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
