I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
