We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
