everyone is single if you try hard enough
Small penises have feelings too.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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