Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
