but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
