Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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