He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
