I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
