I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
