Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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