NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
