so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
