sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
