My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
