I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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