Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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