My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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