You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
