It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
