Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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