You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
