I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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