he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
