So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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