no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
