Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize