he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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