I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
