I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize