Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
